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This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
