We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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