Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
