I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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