I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Can i not drive my cunt home
her vagine was all disorganized.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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