He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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