i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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