I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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