Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
