She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
