he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
