Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
