Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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