Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
