told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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