Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
