Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
