The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sorry about my life...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
