I think my fart just growled at me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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