Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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