Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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