Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
