4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
