Please, let me fuck your mom
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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