We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
