it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
