with your own penis?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
