Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
