I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
