Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
