I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
