She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
