Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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