New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
