your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
