i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize