Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
