Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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