Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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