lets start a swedish sibling band together
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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