I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
