What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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