he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
