Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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