I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
