i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My life is pants optional.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
