It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
