Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
