I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Found your dick twin last night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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