I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
