I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
