if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
