Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize