38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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