im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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