do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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