Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
