then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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