Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
