genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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