some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
