its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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