if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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