I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
