I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
