nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my shit smells like andre
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Panties = found
Randomize
