my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
